An Opinion on Cliques
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Originally published in October 1994
Here is my often-asked opinion on cliques—I hate them! I hate them! I hate them! I have no interest in dealing with cliques. What a deterrent to Wild Frontier living. Just watch my eyes roll when someone asks me about the problem of cliques. I will answer and help, but my eyes will roll.
Cliques are a piddly thing that destroys God’s plan for youth ministry. In the scheme of Satan’s attacks, cliques are a small speed bump and yet they continually hang up youth ministries and get them sidetracked from what they should be doing. Retreats and lock-ins are devoted to this problem. Most of the time spent dealing with clique situations seemingly wasted time when youth should be out on the Wild Frontier fighting real battles. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:10. I hate cliques. Have I said that already?
Are We Having Fun Yet?
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Originally published in March 1994
Try to imagine yourself as normal teenager. Normal would mean no out of the ordinary stressors, some knowledge of God, and lots of normal worries such as friends, boy and girl stuff, homework and zits. You are home for the evening with your parent(s). All in normal, maybe boring. Homework is done, the TV is on. Then knock, knock, knock. You go to your door and what do you see? It’s people dressed in garbage bags complete with capes and darks sunglasses. Who are they? But before you can find out they have picked you up and kidnapped you to a Bible study. You found out later that your parents knew this was going on and that’s why they didn’t panic or come to your rescue.
Somewhere along the way, you and the other kidnappees have figured out who “they” are. They are some of your friends from school who have been praying for you. This kidnapping was a way for them to creatively express their desire for you to know the Creator.
You May Not Know How Good You've Got It
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Originally published in January 1994.
It’s another youth meeting night. You are setting up chairs for the incoming youth you are expecting. You’ve prepared for this meeting. You’ve prayed for your youth. Do you set out 20 chairs or have faith for 25?
Your mind wanders. “The guy down the street is probably deciding on setting up 50 to 60 chairs. “I’ve prepared and prepared and I still get the same 15? What’s wrong with this ministry? Is it me as their leader?”
All who have felt this, raise your hand and scream!
Tenacity
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First published in December 1993
“During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw Him walking on the late, they were terrified. ‘It’s a ghost,’ they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.’
“’Lord, if it is you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’ ‘Come,’ He said.
Wheat and Weeds
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Originally published in June 1993
“The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.
“The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’ ‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.
"The servants asked him, ‘Do you want to go and pull them up? ‘No,’ he answered, because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned, then gather the wheat and bring it to my barn.’” Matthew 13:24-29.
Take A Look At Your Youth Group
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First Published October 1991 – The First Pair of Cleats
Take a look at your youth group. What do you see? Take a deep look at it with God’s eyes. Be careful, you might not like what you see.
We can look at our youth in one of three ways:
1. They are all basically good kids.
Youth Out on a Frontier--But is it God’s Wild One?
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The Wild Frontier lifestyle is one of a life lived beyond human limits. It is “out there” where supernatural things happen. We are all drawn to something like that because I believe it is in our nature to want more for ourselves.
Everyone, then, is drawn to the supernatural. Even teens. Or especially teens. Teens are drawn to supernatural experimentation (including things of Christianity) because it gives them a feeling of power over otherwise chaotic circumstances. And isn’t adolescence one chaotic circumstance after another? For example, one of the boys from God’s Family sole reason for committing his life to Christ at age 13 was so he and his dad would get along better. He need something more, something larger than reality, to fix this hopeless situation. Twelve years later that still has not come to be but his faith is growing into a persevering faith.
The Bummer Realities of Brenda-Centered Youth Ministry
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There was a time in my life when I thought pretty highly of my Brenda-based youth ministry. I felt alive. I felt like I was making a dent in this world. I felt true joy when some teens "got it." But I also felt tired, overwhelmed, stressed, etc.
Something had to change.
Something did change. But first have you ever felt or thought (maybe even voiced) these thoughts?
Scary Packs of Teenagers
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I came across an article about Disney World's Night of Joy. This is the after-hours event when Disney brings in the best of the best in Christian music for a festive night at the Disney parks for the Christians. This article uncovered the reason why the author had heard that a good number of Disney World's cast members (employees) refused to work the weekend of Night of Joy.
According to the author, Jeff Lange, "I couldn't figure out what it was about being assigned to work at the Magic Kingdom on an evening when Christian music is being presented that would cause WDW employees to frantically try and change their schedules. But now I get it.
Generation Repeat
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The following is an open letter written to the youth of today which was cc’d to the entertainment and marketing industries. It was written by a 40-something year old mom of two teens, Michele Catalano. She also happens to be an atheist. In searching for Stuffnet content, I have found this blog entry referenced to more than once.
“Dear kids,
“You know how every generation has a catchy name? Gen X, The Me Generation, The Pepsi Generation, whatever. You know what yours is going to be? Generation Repeat. Why, you ask? Because everything about your culture, with the exception of some emo songs, is stolen from us. And by "us" I mean people old enough to be your parents. People who actually are your parents (and it is with creative liberty that I refer to ‘generation’ here as anyone coming of age in the 80's, 90's or 00's.).
The Power of Ritualized Time Together
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Here is a brief history of how we got here as a culture:
“In the early industrial revolution, many children and teenage boys and girls worked long hours in the factory under the foreman’s discipline. In due time, however, economic production by youth increasingly came to be viewed, often rightly, as pernicious and exploitative child labor, which was gradually suppressed by social reforms. Throughout, childhood and adolescence were being culturally redefined as particular developmental phases of life profoundly different from adulthood. Further social changes in the twentieth century accelerated the structural disconnection of youth’s lives from the adult world. The invention of the automobile provided teenagers with a mobility and privacy they had never before known. Commercial movie theaters, dance halls, and other centers of entertainment had similar effects. Most important of all, however, was the near complete institutionalization of universal public education. In fact, it was not until the 1930s that the majority of American youth of high school age became school students.
Great Commandment Youth Ministries
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From CosmoGirl (November 2003), "Don't you just hate it when people try to convert you to their religion? Or when they talk about how no religion other than theirs is the right one? I have enough respect for my friends not to preach to them, but some of my friends don't respect my beliefs enough not to try to convert me. That really bothers me." --Joy, age 16
You teach your youth to spread their faith to friends at school. Yet those friends are asking for the respect to not be converted. I'm sure not every U.S. high school teen has this opinion but you can hear the postmodern thoughts which are rampant in our teens in this one quote. What do you do? Respect for others is important. For too long many Christians have been guilty of not respecting people and property all in the name of the Great Commission. But you can't not obey the Great Commission either. How do you encourage your teens to reach their friends for Christ when their friends don't want any part of that?
To See a Juvenile Delinquent Make It Along the Way
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If you have been a subscriber for some time you may remember that I work with juvenile delinquents or as I have affectionately named them, God's Family. I have been quiet about them lately because very frankly, my heart is crushed by some of them. I don't know how much more I can take but I also know I can't let go. I have thought about it but I can't. Someday there has got to be that final breakthrough. Someday. Meanwhile, I've often given up asking for others to pray for them because aren't those wonderful intercessors tired of praying for the same things, the same problems, the same but always new criminal charges they receive? I am tired of praying for them.
The Problem--Or Non-Problem of Overscheduled Youth
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Something happened in the 1980s which forever changed the schedules of teenagers. Several studies were done that surmised in a nutshell that idle teens led to juvenile delinquency, particularly teens who were idle during the 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. hours. The term latchkey was coined and became part of normal vocabulary. Parents cried out for something to be done.
At this point the parents should have collectively said, "This is my child, I will fix this." But they were already beaten down by authorities on children (including youth pastors) who didn't affirm them as parents. They felt it was better for them to be affirmed at their long work hours than to take the responsibility for their children.
Real Ministry to Real Youth - Beneath the SS Answers and Youth Worker Know-It-Allness
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I posted this question on a youth ministry message board including this journal entry from a 13-year old girl:
"Every day, just about, something new seems to be happening to this body of mine and I get scared sometimes. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I can't go back to sleep, and I toss and I turn and I can't stop my mind; it's racing too fast, and everything is coming into it, and I think of my two best friends, and how their faces are all broken out, and I worry mine will break out, too, but so far it hasn't, and I think of my sizes, and I can't get it out of my head--the chest size and the stomach size and what I'll be wearing and whether I'll be able to fit into this kind of dress or the latest swimsuit. Well, it goes on and on, and I'm dizzy, even though it's maybe one o'clock in the morning, and there I am, in bed, so how can you be dizzy?
"Everything is growing and changing. I can see my mother watching me. I can see everyone watching me. There are times I think I see people watching me when they really couldn't care less! My dad makes a point of not staring, but he catches his look, I guess. I'm going to be 'big-chested'; that's how my mother describes herself! I have to figure out how to dress so I feel better--I mean, so I don't feel strange, with my bosom just sticking out at everyone! I have to decide if I should shave my legs! I will! I wish a lot of the time I could just go back to being a little girl, without all these problems and these decisions!"
More Articles...
- The Lazy, Hazy and Hopefully Not Crazy Days of Summer
- The End of the Weekly Youth Meeting?
- X Faith in a Gravity World
- No One Shares My Reality (Or Yours)
- Like Rizpah
- The Glass is Half Full
- Your Own Glass is Half-Full
- Everyone’s Emphasizing Family Time—Are You?
- The Repeating of Youth Ministry
- The Homelanders Rebellion
- A Youth Ministry with Staying Power
- Parents Are Intimidated--And Not Just By You
- The Trend of Unplugging--Be an Early Adaptor
- Mythbuster #1-4
- Pair of Cleats: Mythbuster #5-7
- Mythbuster #9
- Longevity in Youth Ministry
- Longevity on Youth Ministry - A True Experience
- Youth Ministry & Creation Care
- Inreach or Outreach: That is One of Many Questions










